warrenwhite: (Happy/Talk)
[Starts off with voice.]

You know guys, the shark has been here for a couple of months and no one's killed it. It's enough to warm my heart, especially considering the high sociopath to normal person ratio we have. [Said with unwavering cheerfulness.]

So, I made this video to celebrate the shark's life here.

[Now plays a video. It goes for about ten minutes, most of which is the shark ambling around in the tank. Unless you really like sharks, it's exceptionally boring. Occasionally, it's shown eating. There's a highlight of it bumping against the glass and turning around to swim in the other direction. If your character might have fed or looked at the shark, there's a fair chance that Warren's included creeper footage of that as well.]

[Private - Loki]

Any luck with the yeast?

[Private - Clapet]

I've got two leads for the yeast. Loki in the kitchen and some guy in the garden who said there might be a similar type of plant there.
warrenwhite: (Walking)
Okay, guys? I have problems. Yeah. I know. How surprising. [Warren shrugs, smiling. He doesn't mind. But onto the serious business.]

One. Why don't we have fixed sentences? I mean, seriously. If this is a prison and not an asylum, can't we reasonably have some guestimate as to how long we're gonna be here for? Because this indefinite shit? It's not helping anyone. Really, trust me on this.

Second. You know how people are getting murdered when Iago feels like he needs a sandwich or whatever? What about the non-murderous people, like me? Why don't we ever get rewarded for being good little prison zombies? Because seriously, people are less likely to do bad stuff if they've got things to lose. And at the moment, people don't have any chance of freedom and nothing really important to stop them from messing with the other inmates.

Thirdly. [He stops, leaning towards the camera.] Since I've just like, enlightened you all so much, I don't suppose anyone's got some smokes?

[Yeah, Warren's just fishing for free stuff at the same time as being a bit astute with dubious motives.]

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warrenwhite

August 2020

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